By | Carmen Correa
Every year, when February 14th rolls around, you might hear grand statements like “I would die for you” or “You’ll always be mine.” Although these declarations might seem harmless, simply an expression of eternal love, they are also grounded in possession, sacrifice, abnegation, and total surrender to one’s partner.
These cultural and historical representations of love are repeated in movies, TV series, songs, advertisements, and other popular media. The model of romantic love that these examples reproduce supports the idea that a woman cannot be truly happy unless she has found her better half, the man who completes her life.
Valentine’s Day is just one more thing on the long list of things that reinforce gender roles. We can start by challenging the messages and media that reinforce traditional roles to move toward a more egalitarian celebration.
Love comes in many forms, and holding ourselves to an unrealistic standard of a romantic ideal can restrict our freedoms and even lead to different types of gender-based violence. It is important to note that women and gender-diverse people are often impacted by sexism in heterosexual relationships, a reality that can sometimes even become deadly. In 2022, 5 women were murdered every hour at the hands of their partners or ex-partners, according to data collected by UN Women.
Against this backdrop, it is clear that we must urgently rethink our emotional connections in favor of more equitable relationships based on consensus and dialogue. Women must be allowed to establish their autonomy and understand their own feelings, needs, tastes, and desires—the pleasure of claiming our right to live a full life.
Romantic love in heterosexual relationships often reproduces traditional gender roles where women must act and behave in specific ways and men in other ways.
It is essential to have open communication and to challenge the social norms that seek to relegate women to the domestic and child-rearing sphere and make them dependent on their husbands. According to ECLAC, it is estimated that women spend between 22 and 42 hours a week caring for children or older adults, which is, on average, up to three times more than men.
Given this disparity in many heterosexual relationships, why not give a Valentine’s Day gift that breaks down gender stereotypes? Making a plan to equally distribute care work and domestic tasks (ironing, washing, cleaning, taking care of children, shopping, etc.) to show that you value your partner and give them free time so they can relax or do whatever they want can be so much more significant than any other gift.
At Pro Mujer, we believe women possess immense power as catalysts for change when equipped with the right tools. We empower them to unleash their potential and drive transformation by providing them with opportunities and creating enabling environments. A critical part of these enabling environments is women’s relationships. Respectful, trusting, and equal relationships are critical to their growth.
Carmen Correa
CEO, Pro Mujer
